How to enjoy your ice cream float?

The Ice Cream Float

Seeker — “ I am not sure. I have a good job. I enjoy what I do. Of course, not all of it, but most of it. I also have a loving family. A few good friends as well. I am happy. Kind of, but I am not sure that I am successful.”

Master — “What do you mean?”

Seeker — “I mean that I could get another job which can pay me a lot more. Alternatively, I could do something which makes me famous. I am not sure which path to take to be more successful.”

The Master looks keenly at the Seeker and asks.

Master — “Why do you think that more money or fame will make you more successful?”

The Seeker responds with a slight frown and a hint of irritation at the Master’s question.

Seeker — “I mean how do we measure success? We don’t know how happy another person is. We don’t know anything about their relationships, beyond what they post on social media or what the media posts if they are famous. However, we can see clear evidence of their financial success through where they live, what they drive, their clothes, accessories and many other things. Similarly, we know if someone is famous. So, clearly these are concrete evidences of someone being successful. Aren’t they?”

Master — “Have you ever enjoyed an ice cream float on a hot, sunny day?”

This seemingly random question somewhat irritates the Seeker.

Seeker — “Yes, I have. They are delicious. What about them?”

The Master observes the signs of growing irritation in the Seeker and smiles.

Master — “Well, if I gave you the choice between a cup of ice cream float without a straw to enjoy it, and an empty cup with a lid and a straw with which you can pretend to enjoy the float, which one will you choose?”

The Seeker does not take long.

Seeker — “Only a fool will choose an empty cup to pretend. I can very well enjoy my ice cream float without a straw, although a straw can surely enhance my enjoyment.”

Master — “The ice cream float is whether you think that you are successful. The straw is whether others think that you are successful. So, you know which is more important. Don’t you?”

The Seeker has an Aha! moment. He thoughtfully nods his head.

Seeker — “Yes, that makes sense. I should not worry too much about whether others think that I am successful. I should focus on what I think makes me successful.”

The Master nods.

Master — “Do you want to learn how to prepare a delicious ice cream soda?”

The Seeker is momentarily confused, then he has a realization and smiles.

Seeker — “You mean metaphorically I assume.”

The Master laughs.

Master — “I could teach you how to make a real ice cream soda, but yes, I mean metaphorically. Let’s begin with ice.”

Seeker — “What is ice?”

ICE

Master — “I is for Identity. C is for Choices. E is for End.”

Seeker — “Hmmm. Can you please explain?”

Master — “Sure. Your first learning is that if you want to bring about real change, begin with your identity. Ask the question, “Who am I?” Let’s take the example of someone who wants to leave smoking. Suppose he is out with a group of people and one of them offers him a cigarette. One option for him would be to reply, “No thanks. I am trying to quit.” The other would be for him to reply, “No thanks. I don’t smoke.” Which option do you think increases his chances of succeeding?”

Seeker — “Obviously if he says, “I don’t smoke,” that sends a stronger message to others as well to himself.”

Master — “Right. So, if you want to make real change in your life, change your identity. Decide if you want to be an artist, an athlete, an author or any number of other things. You don’t have to be limited by your job alone.”

Seeker — “Okay. How will I develop my identity?”

Master — “Carefully make your choices. There is a quote attributed to the French Philosopher, Jean-Paul Sartre. It says, “Life is C between B and D.” It is your choices between your birth and death that makes what your life is.”

Seeker — “That makes sense. So, how can I make the right choices?”

Master — “For that, visualize your end. Think about what you want to have achieved when the moment of your death comes. The Indian-born spiritual teacher, Eknath Easwaran in his book, “Dialogue with Death” writes, “Every moment, whether you see it or not, you have a choice of two alternatives in what you do, say and think. One is what is pleasant. The other what is beneficial.” Sometimes the two alternatives are aligned. Often not. Make the choice based on what is the end that you want.”

Seeker — “For example, drinking beer might be pleasant, but may not be beneficial, if we consider the end goal of health.”

The Master smiles again.

Master — “You are right. Personally, I prefer the path shown by the Buddha. The middle path, which avoids the two extremes of practical life, namely, indulgence in sensual pleasures on the one hand and severe asceticism on the other.”

Seeker — “Okay. So my identify, my choices and my end goals determine my success.”

Master — “That’s right. You decide what is success for you and you have the power to make the right choices based on the identity and the end that you want.”

Seeker — “I think this is simple to understand and quite helpful. Anything else?”

Master — “Oh, yes! We haven’t discussed what will help you to be successful in your relationship with others. That’s the cream. Let’s get to it the next time round.”

To be continued …

Postscript: A bit different article from me on getting a year older. Am I getting any wiser? I wonder!