With some CREAM and soda
Since the last meeting with the Master, the Seeker had started applying the two principles learnt from the Master.
(Please refer to the previous article, “How to enjoy your ice cream float?”)
- Difference between the straw (others’ perception of your success) and the ice cream float (your own sense of fulfillment)
- Ingredients of success beginning with ICE — Identity, Choices and End goals
They were meeting again. The Master inquired —
Master — “So, how has been the experience of applying the two principles which we discussed last time?”
Seeker — “I feel more in control. Often, I have to remind myself that I cannot blame others or my circumstances if something goes wrong. That is not easy, you know, but gradually I feel more empowered.”
Master — “That’s good to hear. The path is not easy, but I am glad that you persist in your effort. That’s the most important thing.”
Seeker — “So Master, what about inter-personal effectiveness. How can I be better at that?”
Master — “Too much of the media, dishes out junk, fast food kind of advice of tips and tricks to create an impression on others so that you can make fools out of them and emerge the so-called winner. We cannot change that, but we are going to discuss a more genuine, wholesome approach. I will call it adding some CREAM.”
CREAM
Seeker — “By now, I know that it must be an acronym similar to ICE.”
The Master laughs.
Master — “Have you begun to read my mind now? Yes, it is an acronym.”
Seeker — “What is the expansion?”
Master — “CREAM has five alphabets and here’s how it goes.
- C is for Character,
- R is for Response,
- E is for Empathy,
- A is for Action, and finally
- M is for Meditation”
Seeker — “Okay. So what you mean by Character?”
Master — “Let me contrast Personality with Character. Here’s a quote, not mine, mind you
Personality is, Who we are and what we do when everybody is watching. Character is,Who we are and what we do when nobody is watching.
In other words, don’t act your life for an audience, even if it is a worldwide one. Live your life true to your values and be genuine with people.”
Seeker — “That makes sense. What about Response?”
Master — “Don’t be like Pavlov’s dogs.”
Seeker — “What do you mean? Who is Pavlov?”
Master — “During the 1890s, a Russian physiologist, Ivan Pavlov was researching salivation in dogs in response to being fed. Pavlov knew that the dogs would salivate in response to the food placed in front of them, but he noticed that his dogs would begin to salivate whenever they heard the footsteps of his assistant who was bringing them the food. This led him to experiments with a metronome, of associating its clicking sound before food was produced. Over a period of time, Pavlov’s dogs began salivating at the mere sound of the metronome. This was an example of conditioning getting hard-wired into an animal’s neural structure.”
The Seeker was listening intently, but not quite sure what to make out of it.
Seeker — “Nice anecdote, but what is the point?”
Master — “The point is that most humans are bound to their conditioning similar to Pavlov’s dogs. Those who break out of this conditioning live in freedom. The Austrian neurologist and a Holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl wrote in his book, “Man’s Search for Meaning,” —
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Once you gain this freedom, you can respond instead of reacting to things. In other words, you can choose your response.”
Seeker — “Wow! That’s a great learning. However, I have one question. It’s all good to say that I should respond instead of reacting, but how do I do that?”
Master — “There are many methods. We can perhaps discuss those in detail another time. For now, let me mention that perhaps the most useful one is Meditation. We will briefly cover that when we come to M.”
Seeker — “Sure. What about Empathy now?”
Master — “You might have heard of the Golden Rule to be found across Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, Taoism, Zoroastrianism, and other ethical traditions. Let me quote from Matthew in the New Testament.
Do to others what you want them to do to you.
A nuanced understanding of this principle is to put yourself in others’ shoes and then think about what they might want to be done to them. That is Empathy.”
Seeker — “Understood. What about Act? Which action are you talking about?”
Master — “Life is about Action. Also about Meditation. So, let me talk about both of them at the same time. The Indian-born spiritual teacher, Eknath Easwaran has translated the Upanishads beautifully in English. Here is a stanza from his translation of the Isha Upanishad.
In dark night live those for whom
The world without alone is real; in night
Darker still, for whom the world within
Alone is real. The first leads to a life
Of action, the second to a life of meditation.
But those who combine action with meditation
Cross the sea of death through action
And enter into immortality
Through the practice of meditation.
So have we heard from the wise.
So, both action and meditation are important.”
These words from the Master and his quoting lines from the Isha Upanishad draws out some deep thoughts in the Seeker’s mind to the fore. He reflects on the words and his thoughts for a few moments in silence. Then he asks —
Seeker — “I had never thought about this interplay of action and meditation. The need to balance between the two. The need to move from one to the other, or the need to combine the two.”
Master — “You have stated it beautifully.”
Seeker — “How do I practice Action and Meditation?”
Master — “Practice Action by doing things for others. Stephen R. Covey wrote in his book, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” that “My friend , love is a verb. Love — the feeling — is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?” That is Action.”
Seeker — “And Meditation?”
Master — “Train your mind. You begin simply by sitting in a comfortable position, closing your eyes and focusing on your breath. Take deep breaths, and focus on your breath going in and going out. Your monkey mind will be distracted by many thoughts and sensations. Don’t fight that. Bring your focus back to your breath. Saint Francis of Sales has said,
If the heart wanders or is distracted, bring it back to the point quite gently… And even if you did nothing during the whole of your hour but bring your heart back, though it went away every time you brought it back, your hour would be very well employed
Persist in your practice and you will gradually gain mastery of your mind. With that, you will get better at how you relate and respond to others.”
Seeker — “That is quite a revelation. I think I understand CREAM now. So, we have covered ICE and then CREAM. What about soda? Is it also an acronym like the first two?”
Soda
The Master laughs.
Master — “No, it isn’t actually.”
Seeker — “Then, what is soda for?”
Master — “For the fizz.”
Seeker — “What fizz?”
Master — “Add some fizz in your life. Have fun. Enjoy the journey.”
